Most Expensive Hotel Room in London
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So what do you actually get for the price of a small house? Space, for starters. The Royal Suite is bigger than my entire flat, and my flat has a hallway I use as a dining room. We’re talking 275 square metres of pure, unfiltered luxury. It has a private entrance (so you can avoid the commoners in the lobby), a grand piano (in case you suddenly need to play Chopin at 3 AM), and a dining table that seats twelve. Twelve! That’s enough chairs for your entire imaginary family of rich, well-behaved friends you don’t actually have.
Then there’s the bathroom. Oh, the bathroom. It’s made of Italian marble, and the taps are apparently gold-plated. I imagine you have to be very careful not to sneeze in there, because you’d probably knock over a vase worth more than my car. And the bed? It’s a king-sized, custom-made mattress topped with Egyptian cotton sheets that cost more per thread than my entire wardrobe. You could roll around in that bed for a week and still feel like you’re floating on a cloud made of money.
The “Real Life” Comparisons
Let me put this in terms we can all understand. For the price of one night in this hotel room, you could: fly economy to Bali and back three times, buy a lifetime supply of avocado toast (approximately 7,500 slices), or rent a three-bedroom house in Manchester for an entire year. You could also pay for 52 Netflix subscriptions and a yearly pass to Greggs. But no. Instead, you get one night of walking on carpets so thick, you lose your keys in the pile.
8 Most Luxurious Hotels in London | Love and London
And here’s the funniest part: you can’t even enjoy the free continental breakfast. At this price, breakfast is included, but it’s not a sad little croissant and a coffee. No, they bring you a silver tray of smoked salmon, fresh berries, and pastries that have been hand-baked by a French chef who probably cries if the butter isn’t the right temperature. I’d be so stressed about getting crumbs on the silk curtains that I’d probably just eat a granola bar in the corner and call it a night.