London Road Is Closed Due to a Police Incident.

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First, always have a snack. A polite incident is a perfect excuse to eat that emergency chocolate bar you keep in the glovebox. It’s not for hunger; it’s for morale. A packet of stale biscuits works too, though it’s a bit like eating cardboard from a crime scene.

Second, embrace the radio. Don’t just listen—argue with it. “No, it’s not a man with a balloon, Brian from Traffic News! It’s a police incident!” It’s comforting to yell at someone who isn’t there. It gives you purpose.

Finally, remember: everyone is in the same boat. The person in the BMW, the person on the bicycle, the person walking their dog who just had to stop and watch the drama unfold. You are a temporary family of frustrated, confused human beings.

So the next time you see those lights, take a breath. Yes, it’s inconvenient. Yes, you’ll be late. But in a world of chaos, a police incident on London Road is a weirdly unifying event. It’s a story you’ll tell your friends (who will nod and smile) and a reminder that sometimes, your plans just have to wait for a good old-fashioned, completely unexplained, blue-light special.